Let Go

All my thoughts in my head, they're all jumbled up. And they're all confusing me. I need to stop.

I need to get away. I need to go somewhere and think in peace. Somewhere like the beach. Somewhere where it's raining. Somewhere where I can have a little peace of mind. And no one that judges. Somewhere where I can spread out all my feelings on the ground in order. And pick and choose the ones I want and let the others be swept by the wind. Have you ever felt a wave of emotion when the wind hits your face? They're emotions that people don't want. Maybe I'm rambling. I don't know. But I have to do this. Also, I have to learn to stop getting affected by people. I wish I could turn it off. If only it was a switch. I try so hard. And I'm not sensitive really. Or so I hope. But sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, I get hit by a blow. And I don't fall down. I don't buckle. I don't let it be seen on my face. But that doesn't mean I don't feel it. It doesn't mean I'm immune to all sorts of blows. I wish I was. I have to learn to escape those. I have to learn so many things. Also, I have to learn to let things go. To maybe stop bothering God so much. To let go of everything and just not think and not feel and be free. 

Jan 2010