Warning

The darkness does not consume me.
I am the darkness.
Light withers away when she sees me, scared of being destroyed.
I warned you not to love me, you didn’t understand.
Now I see you drown in your pool of regret and I’m smiling.

One year

One year since I saw your beautiful face
One year since I saw you smile
One year since you called me back
Doesn't seem like it's been a while

It's been a year and I see your kids
Put on masks of bravery and walk on
Break apart in frozen fragments of time
Then pick up their pieces and go on

It's been a year and I see your parents
Moving further and further apart
Broken to the point of no repair
Still holding on to their heart

Missing you more than words can say
It's been a year and it seems like yesterday

27th August haunts me like no other day.
RIP Anu. I can still not believe you are gone. I doubt I ever will.

Untitled

You make me feel like I'm perfect

I'm not

But sometimes I live in that illusion

Because life around me is perfect

MashaaAllah

I have you and you are perfect

I feel like everything about you is tailored for me

No one else could be all that you are

I never realized I could love someone so much

I didn't know I had it in me

I sometimes look at you and wonder

When you are fast asleep and in another world

How you came to be mine

How everything just fell into place so quickly

It's been a beautiful journey

I feel like I've known you forever

You mean the world to me

It's like you are every prayer answered all at once

Love you

Aug 24th 2015

In my head

You are going round and round in my head

Playing games with my mind

Hide and seek and truth and dare

Hiding the truth and revealing it 

Daring to seek and achieving it

You are making me dizzy like a drug

And I think I'm addicted

We can play this game together

If you get out of my head

My head will soon allow you

To make this your abode

Then what if I don't let you go

Do you want to take that road

Because once that happens you have to stay

Otherwise my head will explode

My heart will gather the pieces

And try to make it whole again

And break itself in the process 

My head will be new again

For you to play games in

But my heart will never be the same 

Light

So I feel like I'm going down a dark tunnel. And I'm going deeper and deeper without any idea of where it's going to lead me. I'm telling God to either take me out of this tunnel or just show me lights in the tunnel. I'll make a world of my own here. I really like the tunnel. It somehow makes me feel free instead of feeling like I'm under captivation. It makes me happy. It also scares me. Speeding through a dark tunnel scares me. And I just seem to be going in deeper and deeper. The speed is also a thrill. The darkness isn't. If only there was some light. If only there were fairy lights in the tunnel. They would light up the whole tunnel! And make it look beautiful! Then I would stop speeding. Then I would just live in the tunnel. If there isn't any hope of any light, then I really want to just get out. I can't even go back. There is no going back. I either have to get out or stay. 

Mommy

You balance the world on your shoulders 

You struggle to make us feel complete

Yet keep us from from every burden

And smile at the heaven beneath your feet

You never tell us how heaven got there

How it strained your soul and fed on your flesh

How it tested you time and again

How you bore it all and kept your mind afresh

How you didn't think twice about the pain

How you love us without thinking of gain

How unselfish is the love of a mother

Like the unassuming rain

It falls without judging without thinking of itself

Falls and withers and helps the flowers grow

How you thought of your children first

Never yourself through every high and low

It can't be repaid, your love dear mother

It can't be measured, its like no other

Love you mommy.

May 2014

This place

So I thought I would write. And I would say it all without saying anything. I would make up a whole world that displays everything without me having to say anything. Is that possible? A place where wishes fly on petals in the wind and get tangled in your hair as they cross you. The smell lingers and you smile. Whatever mood you are in you smile. And drift into another state. Where we walk on clouds and hand pick stars to put in our pockets. Like flowers. Pockets full of stars. Then you can scatter them down below. On the people who need them. More than you.  Because sometimes people need stars. They need hope and they need miracles. They need to believe. We speak in color. Everything we say is a different color. Every emotion has a separate shade. You can tell happy people from sad people because of the colors. You fly and prance about from one cloud to another. With the petals and the stars and dreams. Dreams are floating about just like clouds. And candy. There's candy everywhere. We can eat the candy and it would just reappear. It's never ending candy! It's never going to be dark here. Because there's too much of color. All the darkness would be colored away. I'm writing about this place and wondering how real it sounds. If it sounds real at all. In a child's mind it's the perfect solution. A pure imagination without any flaws. A perfect little world. Do you think heaven's like that?